Adoption is a complicated matter and sometimes a controversial subject. People’s opinions are as limited as their individual understanding allows. Perhaps there is no one ‘right’ way to view it. After all, I can only be most acquainted to my unique personal experience with it.

There are occasionally terrible stories of people who adopted for the wrong reasons. There are even examples of alarming adoption disasters. There are certainly heartbreaking situations involving adoption. But as for me, I always have seen the beauty and miracle of it and I imagine I always will.

When we adopted for the first time and every other time, I considered it as an answered prayer and a gift from God. I still believe that truth. But I have grown in my understanding as the years have shown me additional truth.

I literally could write a book of my personal insights and likely will one day. But for now, I wanted to share a few thoughts for you to ponder and consider.

I cringe when folks say a child is loved ‘like’ their own. My children are my own.

Even when they’re mad at us or we are disappointed with them. Even when we don’t see eye to eye. Even when they’ve created families of their own. Even when others can’t accept it or understand it, they are still my very own.

I labored for them differently than a birth mother does. I travailed in pain in a unique way as I loved them and made myself vulnerable to possible disappointment and rejection.

Did you know that there are some folks who consider adoptive parents as ‘not real’ grandparents? I’ve heard it myself. I’ve witnessed it. It is a grievous and errant opinion, in my opinion.

Here’s the thing that we need to accept without exception. We cannot know another person’s heart. You can’t know how I feel about my children, you can only know how you feel about your children. But you can know this, there is a spirit of adoption that the Bible mentions. And that spirit is a powerful example of extravagant love.

Adoptive parents aren’t second chance parents and adoptive children aren’t rescued children. Adoptive families are forged together with God’s perfect love. Be careful when you decide to discount it or attempt to destroy the integrity of an adoptive family based on your limited in your understanding.

“Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion: eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent, a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, a mouth that lies under oath, a troublemaker in the family.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭6‬:‭16‬-‭19‬ ‭MSG‬‬

I wish I had done some things differently. I would make a few decisions differently if I had a do-over. But I would never change my adoption journey, this beautiful and powerful gift from God. Love is risky business. But it is always always always worth it. After all, in the end, love wins.