Recently, I have stepped out of my comfort zone by committing to new responsibilities which require learning new skills and doing things I have never or not done in a long, long while. And, I’ve been struggling. I’ve been anxious, apprehensive, and honestly, worried that I will experience an epic fail.
I like to know what I’m doing. Don’t you? I mean, I want to feel that I have the ability to accomplish what needs doing. And, truth be told, I’ve honed the skills that were the most comfortable to me.
But there’s the thing. You see, those things that are now comfortable to me, weren’t always. The first time I stood behind a pulpit, my knees were trembling. The first time I stood before a judge to adopt a child I could barely breathe. The first time I wrote an article, spoke to a group, published a book, and so many other things, I felt inept, and quite frankly, questioned my sanity for even trying.
My most common response to such moments of self doubt were such things as –
“Have you lost your mind Stephanie?”
“What were you thinking?”
“Who do you think you are?”
Maybe you’ve said such things to yourself at such moments.
I recently confessed, that these new tasks were very humbling because instead of being the teacher, I must be taught. Instead of leading the way, I must follow. Instead of fixing things, I need others to fix my mistakes. Humbling.
I have been praying, naturally, for assurance and more than once sent up a “God please help my brain!” all the while holding my head with my hands as if I could somehow push back in what seemed to be slipping away. What were those codes? What were the dimensions of that ad? When do I push **? Why isn’t it adding up? Where is that pdf? Where is that mileage form? Where does cash drawer 33 go?
This morning I opened a book my husband gave me a few years ago. I read some wise words from a man I have long admired, Oswald Chambers. I want to share this one simple sentence from his writing entitled, ‘The Passion of Patience’.
“Our reach must exceed our grasp.”
He had lots more to say and it was all good, but those were the words I needed to read this morning. Perhaps they are words you need to read as well.
Go ahead, find your courage, stretch yourself, reach with everything you have and grow, learn, accomplish things that seemed unattainable. Press on! That’s what I’m going to do.