Who I was – Who I am – Who I will become

For more than two decades I was a Stay-At-Home-Mom, aka SAHM. I was not bored. I was not lazy. I was hardly ever even still. I fostered dozens of precious children. I stood before judges with my husband and adopted seven children who became the focus of my time and energy.

I learned to crochet and knit and even tried my hand at my own spinning wheel and processing raw wool. I made scarves, slipper, hats, blankets and baby booties. I bought a sewing machine and made pajamas, pillowcases and a blouse. I witnessed beautiful quilts being constructed.

I homeschooled my seven children and we had so many adventures. We explored. We traveled. We learned in creative ways. I read out loud, explained algebra and required critical thinking. We played pianos, drums, guitars and shofars. And, we are still going strong with our 13 & 14 year old sons.

I milled my own wheat! I baked my own bread. I milked goats and made goat cheese that was so yummy. I processed venison, made my own jerky, fried up catfish and made tomato gravy with cat’s head biscuits. I gardened and harvested and learned to make pickles and pressure can my food.

I was a goat midwife, assisting in many kiddings. I nursed chickens back to health. I taught my kids basic animal husbandry and how to collect eggs. I watched from a distance as my husband tended his bee hives. I sat by the willow tree next to the pond as my family fished.

I attended church faithfully. I taught countless Bible studies. I helped with youth and even attended a summer camp. I led small groups consistently, taught Sunday School (when that was still a thing), served in mission outreaches and volunteered regularly. I grew spiritually.

I wouldn’t change a thing about those days. They were glorious. They were character forming and life changing. They are cherished memories. They are a reminder of who I was during my time as a SAHM.

About five years ago, I began to dabble in a life-long dream of writing and becoming an author. I’ve attended conferences, successfully published two fictional novels, blogged consistently, and penned many freelance-magazine articles. I became a workshop presenter, inspirational speaker and author-event organizer. I let my vibe attract my tribe.

I’m still mothering, writing, praying, studying, homeschooling, encouraging, blogging, crocheting, and believing. And yet, times have changed. A new season approaches. New experiences are waiting to be had.

Now, I’ve taken a job as a part-time grocery store cashier. I clock in, discuss the condition of tomatoes and strawberries. I smile and greet customers. I have expanded my world with new friends and a new appreciation of retail workers. I will never ever ever be impatient with a cashier again. I’m helping my three middles, all of whom graduate this year, get started in their very first jobs.

My future may hold a new position in the world of publications. I’ve discussed new books with literary agents. I’m increasing my skills, stretching myself, growing, and seizing new opportunities. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. I am changing.

I’ve lost a good deal of weight that had attached itself during years of corn dogs and raviolis. I’m healthier than I’ve been in a long while now that I’m attending to my neglected body. I’m as determined as ever to keep moving forward, living out my dreams. I’m turning my face toward the future.

It is a new season and I’m ready to squeeze every moment of joy and life out of it that I possibly can. I will eagerly step into days that I have not yet known, moments that will be worth remembering and face challenges that may make me tremble.

That is who I’ve been, who I am and who I will become. This is my life, my journey, my choices. These are my memories, my dreams, my hopes fulfilled. I will continue to live my life large and possibly make a few folks shake their heads in disapproval while making them chuckle at my many antics. I will do my best to make a difference. I will learn to let go and let God.

Bring it!

2 thoughts on “Who I was – Who I am – Who I will become

  1. Oh, I loved reading this so much. You’ve captured something I really have been feeling lately – change of seasons. I too was a SAHM for years (but not a homesteader or homeschooler, you are amazing!) and gradually things change. I am now embracing my new life as a yoga teacher, while still being kind of a SAHM. Who knows what the next five years will bring? Embrace change, new seasons. Love this!

    1. It’s all rather exciting isn’t it. Some folks would think it’s too late to start new things, but they are so wrong and I am so glad!

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