Nine years ago this month, I saw three of my children for the first time. After all of these years of healing and growing and loving each other, we still have rough moments and moments of discouragement.
If you are a foster or adoptive parent, maybe even a step-parent, who is struggling to build a relationship with a child who has faced trauma and learned to be cautious with trust, read this. Pass it on to others who will benefit from it. Take courage, you are not alone.
I wish I could tell you that after nine years of consistent trying (although not perfectly executed) the issues have been 100% resolved. I can not. What I can tell you is that we are still trying, stumbling and getting back up and yes, we have progressed far down the road from where we began.
“Adoptive parents try to hide struggles as they feel particularly scrutinized as well as wanting to shield their children from being labeled.”
Seven years ago this week we saw three of our children for the very first time. Two little girls, sisters, who were 6.5 and 7.5 years old as well as their little brother who was three. I had been expecting them for a full six months. I thought I was prepared. After all, we had been fostering for nearly fifteen years and they would make 45 foster children that had entered into our care. I had pretty much seen it all, after all. We had determined to love them through difficulties,that surely would be faced.
When they came we knew the plan was adoption and we were committed to be their family. Having already adopted one older child (one of our sons came to us at age 8)in addition to three others who had come as infants, we didn’t expect things to be easy. What we didn’t truly grasp however…
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