The Mother’s Day Pit Fall – It’s a Trap

This won’t be your normal mushy Mother’s Day blog post. I’ll likely do one of those later. But, today I am thinking we need to set aside the fluff and get down to the nitty-gritty. Mother’s Day can be wildly emotional and the emotions aren’t always kind. Sometimes it is more like having your heart raked over live coals. 

You know I’m telling the truth. There are countless reasons that Mother’s Day can hurt like heck. Some you can’t avoid and must learn to cope with. But, there’s one that I hope reading this might help you bypass. 

If your heart is hurting about your own mother, your relationships with her or lack thereof or perhaps y’all are separated by miles or even death, Mother’s Day will hurt your heart. I pray that the good will outweigh the bad and your day will be joyful in spite of your grief. 

If your heart is hurting because of your own state of motherhood, perhaps a delayed state, Mother’s Day will hurt your heart. I pray that hope will spring anew and your day will be joyful in spite of your longing. 

As I said, there are some things that we just can’t control and there are just some hurts that can’t be avoided. But, we can learn to cope and continue on. I’ve been there. I truly understand and remember quite clearly dreading the Sunday every year when the preacher would tell all the moms to stand and I remained seated. That changed for me. This will change for you. Take courage. 

However, here is what I really want to talk about today. I want to talk about the moms who may be very disappointed when Mother’s Day rolls in and rolls right back out and your feelings are hurt because, well, it wasn’t all that. It was another day of changing diapers and cooking and cleaning and servitude. I said we were going to be real and I meant it. Sometimes we can feel unnoticed and under appreciated, especially on Mother’s Day. It’s the pits. 

I want to encourage you to avoid the emotional pit fall that Mother’s Day can deliver, if at all possible. Here’s the first important step. Recognize that you are worth celebrating! You work hard. You give up sleep, your favorite activities and sometimes your choice of foods. Hey, we get it.  We knew what we were signing up for (well mostly). We know that’s how the boat floats. But, not on Mother’s Day. 

If you have a well intentioned husband and small children a subtle hint may be in order. If, from past experiences you realize that a subtle hint isn’t going to work, be more direct. 

“Hey Honey, you know what I really want for Mother’s Day?” And then tell him! 

If you have no husband or if the husband you have refuses to cooperate with the less than subtle approach there’s no sense being miserable. If you have adult children that are too busy to bother celebrating the woman who wiped their noses and their derrières, well shame on them, but, don’t despair. 

If others won’t celebrate you then just CELEBRATE YOURSELF! Yes, you heard me right. Take yourself for a pedicure. Rent your favorite movie. Hog the remote control. Buy the flavor of ice cream that you like and no one else does. Go through the drive through if that’s all you can afford and still not cook. You are worth celebrating. 

Still hesitant? Not measuring up to how things should be? Perhaps not. But, it’s better to have a day of fun and special treats that you choose than realizing there’s a BBQ going on and it’s your heart on the grill. 

I’m going to make a confession. There has never been a Mother’s Day that didn’t find me having a tender moment when things didn’t go just right. Maybe, this year will be the exception. I don’t know. But, what I do know is I’m going to do my best to avoid known pitfalls of expecting my husband and children to be mind-readers. I’m going to speak up, be honest and do my best to have a great Mother’s Day. How about you?


11 thoughts on “The Mother’s Day Pit Fall – It’s a Trap

  1. I realize I raised a self centered son and move on. Yes, I raised him but he has his own personality. It’s just how he is.

    1. I hope you will celebrate yourself!

  2. Elaine Williams May 7, 2015 — 6:06 pm

    Maybe Mother’s Day is why I’ve felt so blah today. Not sick exactly, just blah.

    1. Very likely. I told someone the other day, this week turns me to mush.

  3. Reblogged this on bears goats and strawberries and commented:
    Dumb. I don’t have a care about my mother in any which way. I hope my sister and grandmother enjoy mothers day. Some aren’t and will never be mothers. Don’t try to change absolute hate. We my siblings and grandparents want nothing to do with those people whom were never abused, but spent their lives attacking their own children. There is no “cycle of abuse”, just some are born genetically wanting to attack.

    1. I’m sorry you are hurting. I hope those who have loved you have a good Mother’s Day. I am glad they were there for you.

      1. Most of those that loved me are dead, because of “mother dearest”. Reality.

      2. I’m truly sorry. Having birthed a child doesn’t make someone a mother worth celebrating or any kind of mother at all.

      3. No it doesn’t. Especially when you watched your own triplets killed because she was jealous.

      4. I can’t imagine your grief and pain.

  4. Reblogged this on Stephanie Rodda and commented:

    “If others won’t celebrate you then just CELEBRATE YOURSELF! ”

    It’s the week of Mother’s Day and it always turns me to mush. Let’s avoid the emotional pit falls.

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