This is the final day of 2014 I have a few things I want to say and as I’m taking time off social media, decided this blog is the way I’ll go about it. First, let me just say that 2014 will not go down on a list as one of my favorite years. Just thinking back on it wears me out. Honestly, I’m glad it’s over.
Tumultuous. That’s the word that comes to mind. Not totally terrible as there were some redeeming moments. But, all in all, absolutely tumultuous. So many changes, big changes, life altering changes. I couldn’t seem to get my bearings from one change before the next was upon me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the new year to come. Mostly I’ve been hoping it would be one of those stellar years where life settled down and we can coast along for a while and catch our breath since 2014 was more like pedaling an old bike up hill (both ways). But, I’ve lived long enough to know that those years don’t really exist. Life is constantly happening around us and to us and it intends to be dealt with.
Oh, we can try to refuse and stubbornly ignore what needs doing but, it doesn’t go away, it just sits and simmers and seethes. No, that’s no solution. We may as well go into 2015 with our eyes wide open. That’s one of my favorite words of wisdom. I say it often to friends and family. “Make your choice,” I’ll say. “But do it with your eyes wide open.”
Too often we just can’t see the truth clearly or perhaps we refuse to. Sometimes I feel like squeezing my eyes closed tight so I don’t see what I don’t want to see. Sometimes I just squint so that the bright light of revelation doesn’t out right blind me.
A while back I was driving and came to a point where I was to turn onto another road but when I tried to look for oncoming traffic I was absolutely blinded by the sun. I could not see a thing. I kept inching forward and adjusting my position trying to see if it was safe to proceed.
That’s a pretty good picture of how this year has ended for me. I feel like I am straining to see what lies ahead and I know that The Lord has indeed opened my eyes to hidden matters but, sometimes I’m just blinded by the light. Sometimes I feel like I’m inching forward when I need to be moving on. Sometimes I’m terrified because I can’t see what is coming next.
You know, if I was in this alone, on my own, relying on myself and my own limited abilities, I don’t think I could be courageous enough to proceed with my eyes wide open. I imagine I’d be leaning more towards the ‘ignorance is bliss’ line of thinking.
But, I’m not alone and I’m going to enter into 2015 the same way I step out of 2014, with my eyes wide open. I’ll see some startling things. I’ll sometimes be blinded by the light. I’ll sometimes be tempted to squeeze my eyes shut and refuse to look at what seems too awful to bear. Other times my vision may be blurred by tears over what I’ve seen. But, I will not look away, I will not pretend I didn’t notice, I will not succumb to the less demanding path of shadows.
For the first time in my life, I think this will be a one resolution year. I think that I will focus my energies and my prayers and my planning in one direction, keeping my eyes wide open.
“Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!”
Matthew 6:22-23 MSG