So, today, the day before Mother’s Day, I have forgiveness on my mind.
Last night during the night I was praying and honestly, I was fretting. I was fretting about my own shortcomings as a mother and I was rehearsing regrets. Things I wished I had done differently, done sooner or not done at all. I finally was at the point of tears. This is not the point you want to be at when the clock says 3am. Mother’s Day can be such an emotional time for us moms.
I found myself considering one of the few serious scenes in the very funny movie I attended last night. This young momma was beating herself up pretty bad, feeling like a total failure and this big biker guy (famous country music singer) asks her who is it she’s not enough for? Finally it comes down to she isn’t enough for herself. That touched me. It made me think.
Another mom in the movie had a teen daughter and she was working hard to help her daughter not repeat her own mistakes. Still, yet, another mom was single and feeling destitute and hopeless. I think, this is a fairly accurate overview of the mental anguish a mom can put herself through.
I don’t know of a single mom who has not struggled with feeling inadequate. At one point, the main mom in the movie said she didn’t deserve to be celebrated (in reference to Mother’s Day). I can relate. If you are a mom, you can relate, if you are honest enough to admit it.
We get on FB and post our happy moments and we go to church and put on our happy faces. We look in the mirror and stare into our own eyes and will ourselves to press on and try harder and do better in spite of our weary bodies and our worried hearts.
We worry if we are being too strict or too lenient. We worry if we are messing our kids up for life or if we have allowed other people to do so. We worry about their futures and their spouses and their happiness and safety. We worry that whatever happens will in the end be our fault and if we could have some how prevented it. Sometimes I think the word mother is a synonym of worry.
We are so hard on ourselves. And so today, I’d like to encourage us moms with an early Mom’s Day gift to ourselves! Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for those ‘mommy moments’ of lost composure and raised voices. Forgive yourself for overindulging or neglectful busy-ness. Forgive yourself for unkind words or bad attitudes. Ask The Lord to forgive you, ask your kids if need be and receive that forgiveness. It will be the sweetest smelling Mother’s Day gift you ever received, a bouquet of forgiveness.
Happy Mother’s Day from this less than perfect but trying my best momma to you! We haven’t failed until we’ve stopped trying.